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14 February 2012 @ 09:12 am
Midwinter Prompt 30: Sweethearts (Parks and Recreation)  
Title: Sweethearts
Author: mrstater
Prompt: Prompt 30
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Characters & Pairings: Chris/Ann
Rating & Warnings: rated G; so much sugar it may hurt your teeth
Word Count: 500
Summary: Chris takes his Valentine's Day candy literally.
Author's Note: First Parks and Recreation fic. *bites nails*



Sweethearts


"Ann Perkins!" Chris bounds into her office, a box of Sweethearts in his hand, which he holds up and rattles like a maraca.

"Chris Traeger!" Ann replies. "You look…festive…today."

She twirls her hair, and he glances down at his powder pink shirt and tie in a complementing darker shade, and then grins. "I'm all about the holiday spirit! Thanks for the candy, by the way. I can't eat it, of course--my body hasn't absorbed sugar in nineteen years, and just one of these would literally be like a diabetic on a sugar binge--"

" I know." Ann waves him off. "I gave them to everyone and just…didn't want you to feel left out."

"Oh, I didn't mean you shouldn’t have given them to me. These are more than candy, Ann Perkins. They're cute little pastel instruction manuals for how to give a girl the best Valentine's Day ever. And I'm going to follow the advice on every single one."

"I don't think that's--"

Ignoring her protest, Chris shakes the box, and a mint green heart falls into his hand. His grin widens, and his heart rate even elevates to an astounding twenty-six beats per minute--he feels like it's Christmas--as he turns it over to read the message.

Marry me.

He stares at it for a moment, his grin frozen. "I don't think I can do this one."

"Yeah…" Ann draws out the word self-consciously, and turns back to the paperwork he'd interrupted. "Some of them aren't exactly, uh, work appropriate."

"And I don't think your boyfriend would appreciate me proposing to you on Valentine's Day. Although wouldn't that be just adorable? Proposing on Valentine's Day with a candy heart?" Chris chuckles, the weirdly awkward moment overcome, and shakes out another Sweetheart. "Text me," he reads. "Now that's completely appropriate for the workplace."

"Some government officials certainly seem to think so," Ann mutters.

Chris slaps the doorframe in amusement. "Ann Perkins, bringing the biting political commentary! And I'll…" He selects another candy heart, reads it, and frowns. "Page you? How long have these been sitting on the shelf at Walmart?"

"I don't think--"

"Better send out a government-wide email telling everyone not to eat their Sweethearts, before we have a bigger health crisis than sugar comas on our hands. Started by the health department, too. That would be ironic."

"Yeah. It would."

Chris thinks Ann sounds a little less concerned about the potential disaster than she should, but she's such a conscientious nurse, that can't be the case. She must just be disappointed that her Valentines turned out to be a health hazard.

"At the risk of stepping on your boyfriend's toes, Ann Perkins," he says, gingerly pulling a heart out of the box with the tips of his fingertips, which he'll have to sanitize when he gets back to his office, "may I say You're sweet? That's UR sweet. With the letters."

Ann smiles. "UR two, Chris Traeger. And that's 2. With the numeral."
 
 
 
ju_douju_dou on February 14th, 2012 03:26 pm (UTC)
Awwww! Happy Valentines Day, Voldy!!

I really enjoyed that, it made me smile and I could just see Ann's smile of sufferance and Chris' maniacal grin! Those two are so funny together and that really came over in this delightful little piece. Ann is so self effacing and kinda cynical and Chris is just so... erm, sweetly inhuman?!! The dialogue was spot on, like I can almost not believe this hasn't happened in the show! I'm always sooo nervous trying to write anything comedy wise, I think it's much harder than angst to be honest. I'd love to see you write more Parks and Rec stuff to keep me going until I can understand GOT a bit more - my bro's bringing the DVD Thursday - yay!!!
What's Taters, Precious?mrstater on February 14th, 2012 04:00 pm (UTC)
Happy Valentine's Day, Cissy. ;)

Aw, thanks, I'm so happy you could see this fitting in with the show. It was way too much fun to write--I intended for it to just be a proper drabble, but Chris wouldn't stop talking. As Chris does! I'd love to write more Parks fic!

But yes, comedy is HARD to write. I always kind of go, "Oh no, I have to be funny now!" before I attempt something in a comedy genre, which is ridiculous because I think I'm pretty funny in RL... But you just want to make the characters as funny as they are in the original material, you know!

Yay for you having GoT soon! Will you watch it all during the weekend? That's only 10 hours of viewing. ;)

Edited at 2012-02-14 06:25 pm (UTC)
ju_douju_dou on February 14th, 2012 06:27 pm (UTC)
Well it may occupy quite a bit of my weekend as JM is at his dad's!

You definetley have the knack for writing humor, I look forward to more of it! I could so hear Chris babbling on!
Ilkaphoenikxs on February 14th, 2012 03:39 pm (UTC)
Heee, so cute!
You definitely have their voices down. Especially Chris. I can totally hear his voice in my head as I'm reading this.
What's Taters, Precious?mrstater on February 14th, 2012 04:01 pm (UTC)
Hee, thank you! I love how Chris talks a mile a minute, and so enthusiastic. I totally don't miss Paul anymore. ;)
Ilkaphoenikxs on February 14th, 2012 04:08 pm (UTC)
I totally don't miss Paul anymore.
Who was Paul ;)
Nope, me neither.

Although, to speak for all of us Dany/Jorah shippers, you really shouldn't let Parks and Rec distract you from writing hot Dany/Jorah ficage ;)
What's Taters, Precious?: Dany/Jorah Qarthmrstater on February 14th, 2012 04:09 pm (UTC)
LOL I won't! I'll be back to Dany/Jorah this afternoon. :)

Edited at 2012-02-14 04:10 pm (UTC)
fickery: Leslie where my ladies atfickery on February 14th, 2012 05:08 pm (UTC)
his heart rate even elevates to an astounding twenty-six beats per minute

"--my body hasn't absorbed sugar in nineteen years, and just one of these would literally be like a diabetic on a sugar binge--"


HA! This was very cute, and you really nailed their voices. Happy Galentine's Day, and I hope you're going to cross-post this at parksandrec!
What's Taters, Precious?mrstater on February 14th, 2012 05:36 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks very much! I'm always nervous about getting characters right the first time I jump into a new fandom, so it's lovely to know you could hear their voices. Chris is so much fun! Happy Galentine's Day to you, too, and I'll definitely go over and post at the comm!
jncar: Annjncar on February 14th, 2012 06:14 pm (UTC)
Aw, cute!

You did a lovely job with Chris's voice--his too perky to be true attitude isn't always easy to capture, but you did great.

And it is so very like Chris to take the sweethearts messages seriously.

Fun to read something by you again in a fandom I actually know something about, Yay!
What's Taters, Precious?mrstater on February 14th, 2012 06:23 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading, dear! I'm really happy you think I've captured Chris' voice. He sort of took over what I thought was going to be a very short drabble, hehe. I heart him!
just_a_dramjust_a_dram on February 14th, 2012 08:05 pm (UTC)
Oh my goodness. This sounds so very, very much like Chris. His POV is totally perfect! Tracking his heart rate and whatnot? Too cute and funny. :)

That's awesome, Ann Perkins!

Or, um...mrstater
What's Taters, Precious?mrstater on February 14th, 2012 08:36 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you, my dear! Chris gets funnier and funnier to me all the time, but he won my heart with the air banjo! (Although it was pretty close when he had the flu and looked at himself in the mirror and said, "Please. Stop. Pooping.") I had way too much fun writing this. Much as in the show, he just wouldn't stop babbling!
just_a_dramjust_a_dram on February 14th, 2012 09:02 pm (UTC)
I'm 5 years old, so I like a poop joke!
(Deleted comment)
What's Taters, Precious?mrstater on February 14th, 2012 09:41 pm (UTC)
The crappier, the better. ;)
A: parks & rec | the trial of leslie knopevulcanicity on February 15th, 2012 09:31 am (UTC)
♥ ♥ ♥

This is so cute. And it totally made me smile, too.

Also you totally got Chris' voice literally perfect.
What's Taters, Precious?mrstater on February 15th, 2012 12:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I am literally smiling that it made you smile. Chris is too much fun to write!
lz1982: Andy/Aprillz1982 on February 15th, 2012 04:32 pm (UTC)
Very cute!

I'm the moderator at parksandfic, if you want to post there as well!
What's Taters, Precious?mrstater on February 15th, 2012 06:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And I will do!
lz1982lz1982 on February 15th, 2012 07:22 pm (UTC)
Just saw it at the comm! :)
stephen@charleneforever.com: tina & alec: snl whispery-nessmichellek on February 16th, 2012 01:21 am (UTC)
This was great! It read like a scene from the show.
What's Taters, Precious?mrstater on February 16th, 2012 05:06 am (UTC)
Aw, that's the best compliment! Thanks so much. I love these characters!